Whoa! I’m surprised to see you reading my first self published book. Thank you. Now before someone or something steals your focus away from my book allow me to introduce myself- My name is T. D. Shaw. No, I’m not related to George Bernard Shaw, but my Grandfathers name was Bernard. Throughout my life I went by many different names, not to hide my personal information, but to know exactly how someone knew me. When I was in Art School all of my Colleagues and even my Professors called me Ty. During my first big break as a painter I introduced myself as Augustus. Which later on turned into August and to my Japanese Friends I introduced myself as Tyson, because it just made sense to me. Today, I go by T. D. Shaw and this is my actual name. Everyone that calls me TD is obviously going to be someone I met after 2014. Your name is important like your phone charger, without it you’re dead. In 2010, I realized that I had way to many small ideas floating around inside of my head. I had no choice, but to make a conscious decision in exploring my creative talents while studying for midterms, joining a Fraternity, breaking up with my Girlfriend and most importantly operating my new blog and brand Mr Talented. Surprisingly, it wasn’t an overwhelming experience; I felt determined and optimistic about it all, except for Me and Lauren breaking up. I can’t remember why, but if your reading this I want you to know that I miss your face. I’ve always been gifted. For example, when I was in 4th grade, I created a life size Car using cardboard, tape and paint. I’ve always been considered the weirdest person ever, I still can’t understand why someone feels this way about me; Honestly- I feel super normal to myself. When I was a Freshman in College I worked for a Japanese Company named A Bathing Ape in New York. It was there that I learned the value of being exclusive and transformed myself into this Super Human with a busy lifestyle that everyone loved. I felt like Nick Cannon in “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” a film about a High school nerd that started dating the most popular Girl in School in order to be considered cool by the cool kids. I knew if I continued to think up small ideas eventually I’d have enough customers to support my never ending journey toward the American Dream. I’ve always had this understanding about not working too hard in the beginning stages of entrepreneurialism. In fact I don’t think I have to work hard at all. I’d simply go to a local coffee shop name The Bean on 12th Street and Broadway in New York City purchase a small coffee and a pistachio muffin and sit there putting together Mr. Talented Bow-ties. It was and still is a lucrative idea for me. Who knew 11 Dice in the structure of a Pixelated bow-tie would make People stop and say… “Wow, I love your bow-tie.” That was my way into a strangers life. I’d say thank you and ask if they would like one. It was as simple as that. Over and over and over again. That alone accumulated hundreds a week; Which turned into thousands. My product became so popular that I took a trip to my Aunt and Uncles House on Long Island and my younger Cousin’s told me that their Teacher was telling them about my products from the Internet. I felt so good. I never even met their Teacher. I created a road for myself which lead to the lives of many.
Mr. Talented’s Goofball Ideas.
I’ll never forget the day I met Adam Sandler. I was dropping off a few Mr. Talented Bow-ties by my new Job when I noticed Adam Sandler walking down Greene Street in Soho, New York City. The Man that has made me laugh uncontrollably with his movies, was at the right place at the right time. He became the first Celebrity to ever wear a Mr. Talented Bow-tie. That’s pretty historical if you ask me. I never thought that I would meet Adam Sandler. Nor did I think he’d have enough time to wear my bow-tie for a selfie. In fact he did have enough time and he wore it for the rest of the day. Immediately I showed all my friends, relatives, co-workers and colleagues on Facebook. That was a rare occasion. An opportunity of a lifetime, which now is worth a million words.
This book for instance is a small idea that stemmed from a Woman calling me a Goofball. Note this Woman sells my Bow-ties at Her boutique on 29th Street and Broadway. I simply made a smart joke which involved a little amnesia and pretended it was my first time walking into her boutique. She immediately called me a Goofball. It was a shocker. I made my first joke ever at her boutique and she calls me stupid. I looked up the definition of a Goofball and became a little upset that she would call me that in the presence of 30 People. How rude. I sat on her couch and pulled out my small ideas book and thought of creative ways to react to this Princeton Graduate. My mind gained complete focus. I went from thinking about bouncing Yo-yo’s to magnetic balls attached to a wire for lost keys in hard to reach places. My mind wouldn’t stop thinking. That night I walked home and went straight to sleep. I didn’t even take my clothes off. The next day- I managed not to care as much as I did the night before. I simply walked to Ground Central Coffee on 52nd and Lexington Avenue; Put together a few bow-ties. When this idea came to mind: A book titled ‘Goofball Ideas’. I’ve always wanted to write a book, but I wasn’t too sure what it would be about. I was already researching how to get books published weeks beforehand. So it just made complete sense to write a book. In fact this book is dedicated to all the goofballs worldwide. I really want to get into the idea of being a Goofball. It feels likes a level above being called a Weirdo. Next someone is going to call me a chump and that will be the inspiration for my next idea. I fight with my brain. Knowledge is very important to me. I get to take advantage of People who don’t have time to appreciate knowledge. I’m kindhearted, but being a nerd gets uncomfortable, because your not sure what strangers are thinking about. In a city with 20 million people sometimes thought process can think violence. I’m not about that. I rather create an easier and efficient way for children and young adults of the future. People always ask me how are Mr. Talented Bow-ties made and I don’t tell them, because I’m putting together a self customizable option for customers to put one together themselves. I believe that life should be easygoing. My emotions should rarely be provoked and I shouldn’t have to pay taxes. Does this sound like a goofball? Hopefully it does.
I really want to write a book on the combination of words that could control someone’s emotions. Imagine having a detailed list of phrases that you could say to anyone and it will change their mood immediately. That’s what society is headed for. A Germinated world where a simple 40 year old Woman could say one word and it could destroy your optimistic expectations. That’s why this book was self published, I don’t posses the prospective to be a great writer. I’ll always be considered an Artist. Simply because I invented a bow-tie out of lettered tiles and rolling dice. I went to an Art & Design University, but my major was Textile Surface design. Am I still considered an Artist? The answer is yes. I’m taking my chances and I’m putting together a laboratory where I could possibly invent a cure. Still, people consider me an Artist when I could potentially cure Cancer. Most people don’t have the availability to dedicate their hard earned time to this amount of research. I’m 25 years old. By the time I reach 40, I should have over a Billion Followers and a trillion blog views. This is what I want to do with my life. I’ve always considered myself an inventor, but Humans always manage to think of me as being an Artist. Picasso was an Artist. Jean Michel Basquiat was an Artist. Rene Magritte was and forever will be an Artist. Honestly, I’m not that great at Art. I could get a few oohs and ahas, but calling an infants unconscious scribbles a masterpiece is far fetch. I don’t care how empathetic you are. Artists have made history. Calling Dr. Cosby an Artist is artistic blasphemy. Be sure use that title wisely. Even in Art School I was considered an Entrepreneur which feels 10 times better than being called an Artist when I don’t deserve that title as of yet. My artwork is okay, but it’s not perfect. I’m a perfectionist when it comes to painting and if my last brush stroke isn’t perfect, I must start all over. I don’t want my mistakes hanging at the MoMA or The Frick 100 years from now. I’m better than that.
The day I realized God was just an idea to keep me distant from sin I became highly upset. I believed in God. I wasted my time going to Church. I felt optimistic about being accepted into heaven, but it was all just a fragment of someone’s imagination. My entire country was built on the idea of God. I immediately thought about 4 chemicals that could easily explode when ignited by a flame. I was being sarcastic when I thought about blowing my self to bits. Then it struck me, the idea of a lifetime. Create a real time documentary about a inner city kid who blows up 1,000 Cars and gets away with it. Leaving behind the name of his film. I’m not the type of person who can go than 36,000 days allowing people to ruin my life. Everywhere I go people decide to treat me horribly. Why? It shouldn’t be karma, because if God’s not real then Karma isn’t real. In fact nothing that limits your ability to think is real. Life is just about people who find it useful to ruin your day or make your day. In fact an Ivy League family that decides to have a child can guarantee that there child will be accepted into an Ivy League School. Why? It’s not Karma! The reason itself is reasoning. That child is designed to think at a faster pace than a child of high school dropouts. If I asked a Kid of Ivy League parents the same question I asked a kid of High School Dropouts. Chances are they’re not going to be the same response. In fact, the answers will shock you. It’s not fair to say that these children are the same, because they’re not. It is safe to say that the people an Ivy League child would meet at the age of 4-5 will be completely different from the people a High School Dropouts Child would meet at the age of 4-5. Life is just a road filled with people lined up to say Hello and ask you questions. All humans are practically the same, but the human brain will forever be used differently. Will I ever own a private island? Will I ever be a billionaire? Will I ever be able to mass produce cars by myself? My answers to those questions are unquestionably No. There’s no need to ask myself why. In fact there’s nothing wrong with not having these options available to me. The truth is my mind moves so fast that the word WHY has the ability to stop my train of thought. If I managed to be able to have a child and get married which are the only miracles life has to offer than I’d be a little more patient with Human beings. I’m sure that my Child would be accepted into an Ivy League School. The only problem is the challenges He would have to face on his own. Which I have no power over. I can manage the responsibility of making sure his reasoning as well as his level of brain power is efficient, but the Women he decide to dates and the amount of work he has to accomplish won’t be up to me. My blood type is B positive and I’m a male so my XY chromosomes and testosterone levels are above average. I’m supposed to have a healthy baby. The only problem is I can’t start until the age of 30-31. I know that I need to come up with an idea that can guarantee royalties. I also know that I need to create a larger audience of either 100 billionaires or 100 Million people. When I think of these solutions the question HOW is hidden in my mind, which moves so fast that I wouldn’t be able to ask myself this simple 3 letter word. WHEN becomes the next hurdle I have to face and WHERE is still the missing question from mind which ends up being in the minds of an XX Chromosome. It’s ridiculous to understand this, but I know exactly what I mean by WHERE.
I’m still under the impression that I should teach people how to make weapons of mass destruction in a step by step booklet. Unfortunately, the rules in The United States prohibit me from doing that. I can’t even get a book like that published, because Barnes & Nobles won’t accept it and a place like Urban Outfitters won’t allow it. So I’m practically stuck with a Million dollar idea that could buy my first penthouse. Thank Goodness Brain cells are discreet, I posses the power of knowing exactly what an audience of impulsive consumers want. This is what they want. This is what they need. People that are born into million dollar wealth don’t know how to be poor, so they overcome that obstacle forever. People that are born into middle class families have one option: WORK. People who are born into low class families often have no choice but to remain poor or die trying to be richer than themselves. In the end everything you ever wanted was inspired by you. No matter if your were rich or poor. Your WANTS made it possible for a person like myself to sell you a Mr. Talented Bow-tie. Without you my ideas are nothing but ancient artifacts waiting to be found by the next century of thrift store shoppers. People are getting smarter and dumber at the same time. There’s no difference, because your Boss could be a total idiot and your local bookstore security guard could posses an IQ of 200. The future has become harder to entertain. My ultimate goal like millions of other people is to be noticed by someone a 100 years from now. It’s fascinating to know that Leonardo D’Vinci still has Artwork hidden on this simple Planet. If I wasn’t popular in this day of age, I could simply write a book titled The Holy Bible and add one extra chapter that explains an exaggerated story about who I should be. In fact, I could spend 10000 hours of my life figuring out a way to add a new chapter to most Bibles just to ensure that my story will be remembered the way that I want it to be remembered. The Internet and technology is making it harder for people to appreciate the power of writing. Less is more, but more is too much. The key word in that quote is MORE. Not because it shows up twice, but the simple knowledge on that one word is confusing. For starters it’s a homonym. Second depending on the way your brain processes information it could have many different conclusions. For instance, less is more, but what is more? For some less is more becomes important based on personal experiences. For others less is more becomes incomprehensible and sometimes less is more could register as an incomplete sentence. To me the word MORE alone is too confusing to understand. When I’m optimistic and full of joy the word MORE could be a sweet as a grilled peanut butter and jelly sandwich. When I’m upset the word MORE could be irritating. When I’m disappointed or sad the word MORE could be exhausting. I try to think outside of the box, but then there’s always that one person that walks in and introduces you to a new form of thinking in a couple of words. He might of said did you see the fight last night, but my brain processed it as Think Behind The Box. Which in fact is the title of my second book. The conclusion of Goofball Ideas is to give you a clearer understanding about my thought process which derived from Teresa the Founder of AME AME calling me a Goofball to the introduction of my writing career. Once every 10 years there’s a breakthrough in technology that makes it easier for all Humans to do something. I don’t know what’s coming next, but I do know that most people are focused what they can do and not what they can’t do.
In this chapter I’m going to introduce you to a new form of thinking that is effective and simple to use. Here’s a step by step instructions guideline that will help you break out of your way of thinking for a few weeks into thinking like a quote on quote goofball.
1. Introduce yourself to Brain Enhancement Pills.
2. Purchase a Molskine Book and a Molskine pen.
3. Think BIG, Think Small, Think Bigger than BIG & Think Smaller than small.
4. Fight with your brain. Take your anger out on knowledge.
5. When you feel insecure think about inventing a cure.
6. Turn your day into hours.
7. Calculate how many days you have left on Earth. The average human is given 33,000 days of life. Subtract that from your age today by dividing 365. For example, if your 25 multiply that by 365 then subtract 33,000.
8. Learn how to get yourself published.
9. Create videos and audiobooks on what you think is useful.
10. Learn from what groups of people didn’t do in the past. Use that to your advantage.
11. Learn how to make explosives.
12. Apply for a job with the U.S. Government The House of Representatives
13. Actually be intelligent.
14. Sacrifice Romance for Knowledge. Document how long that will be a priority.
15. Use the word beep in replacement for curse words.
16. Remove the word WHY from your vocabulary.
There are more steps that I could include, but 16 is a goofballs favorite number. Most people aren’t easy going enough to just change their personality over night. It’s going to be a problem, especially if you live a routined life. Who knows this book may end up in the hands of a 10 year old. What’s cool about my life is that everything I think is either humorous to me or thought provoking. I decided that it was best for me to stay to myself, because humans are too critical for my imagination. Once I got out of College people just changed. I realized that over 6 Billion people hate African-Americans and over 2 Billion People hate America. Thank goodness it’s modern hate and not that irrational hate from the 1600’s. I’m kind of happy to be African American. The more people that hate my culture, the better it is for me. I truly don’t think people need me, so I just study all day waiting for a way to cure cancer in its worst form. This level of hate allows me to focus on what matters most, rather than what matters least. I could be greedy and think about what matter most and what matters least, but I’m not that interested in flying from city to city and country to country talking to people that can’t stand my guts because I’m black. It’s just not that important to me. At 25, already know that by the age of 30, I’ll speak 5 Languages fluently and I’ll be able to hack into any databases on the face of this earth and delete that I even exist. If I really wanted to I could ensure that all payments made through Amazon.com be transferred to my Paypal account. That’s nothing! With the amount of money flowing through the Internet every hour I could easily make my way to Canada from my iPhone. I don’t have many options when it comes to being Black. I could continue penny stocking, but eventually I’m supposed to want $100 Million dollars. That is the American Dream. I’ll continue donating my blood to the American Red Cross and I’ll continue allowing people to step on my shoes and spread ridiculous rumors and judgment about me in my face, but I do know that one day I won’t exist.
The Mr. Talented Bow-tie was conceived on February 19th 2010 at approximately 7:15pm I was on my first date with a Girl I had this huge attraction for. I wasn’t thinking about ideas, nor school. I was just happy to be there with her. After waiting for a few minutes a waiter walks up to the table and asked if we were ready to order. I looked up from the menu and noticed his black satin bow-tie. It was 2010, I’ve never seen anyone wear a bow-tie at 7pm. For some strange reason when she placed her order I quickly pulled out my Molskine Notepad and started drawing a pixelated bow-tie. The structure started with one square in the middle, two squares stacked on each side leaving that one square in between and three squares stacked on each side leaving what was left in between that. In a sense, it resembles a dream inside of a dream inside of a dream or a box inside of a box inside of a bigger box. Which explains my date overall. Completely complicated. I just invented something that later on became a brilliant small design. I didn’t intend on selling thousands. I was just fascinated by the idea of using dice to create a bow-tie. It made me feel bigger than the Sun. A few weeks later the best hobby of my life happened. I launched my WordPress blog which started as simple posts of things I liked. I purchased a domain name and opened an E-Store to sell my new invention. Believe it or not my first customer was a Kappa from North Carolina. I was amazed. I couldn’t believe that someone that never met me just bought a Dice Bow-tie from me over the Internet. It shocked the heck out of me. Then came the United Kingdom and China even Ireland. I’ve never been to any of these places. The Internet now became the World’s most powerful tool in my mind. Suddenly, I received an email from my College advisor stating that I’ve been nominated for a entrepreneur of the year award. Things just got better and better. Until my idea started being used by someone else. That disappointed me. I went back to coming up with newer ideas at a faster pace. Then my idea was stolen again and again and again and again. I knew it was officially time to protect my intellectual property and rethink how this act of infringement could benefit me. When I was a Kid everybody I knew was selling Avon products for extra income. I simply resulted to thinking that these people worked for me and the publicity of my design. To my surprise it worked. It was featured on websites like Fancy.com and Humans of New York which all went into my portfolio. When people infringe it saves me time and money. It’s still happening today, but I’m constantly searching the internet to ensure that no employee of my idea goes unnoticed. I received free press from these people, free product shots and most importantly the people that know it’s my idea like me even more than before. It goes to show you that too much of a bad thing can be good. For instance, Racism. Wink-wink. Let’s be honest, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Wouldn’t be the Man he is today if it wasn’t for the ignorance of whites in the 50’s and 60’s. Barack Obama wouldn’t be President if it wasn’t for the choices of George Bush. Tiger Woods wouldn’t be playing golf if his father was Asian. Racism has evolved into an understanding that black people posses some sort of self knowledge that comes from a different experience. I’ve met a wealthy black people, middle class black people and low class black people. It’s safe to say there is a difference, but most people aren’t interested in taking time out to discover the differentiation between Black social classes. That’s why I stay to myself. If Barack Obama has to deal with Racism then there’s no use in losing focus on what matter most. We need a cure immediately. We need energy. We need too much. I managed to get over that seductive sense of retaliation and decided to take on bigger issues like curing breast cancer at its worst form and creating a tool for detecting sexually transmitted infections within seconds. The average human being won’t commit to this responsibility. This is where I want to be. On a road less traveled I’ll find what is it that makes happy again.
What if all my ideas are just a waste of time? What if Teresa’s Goofball comment was true? What if that waiter was wearing a T-Shirt? What if Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was murdered as a Child? What? If? How many question could I possibly ask myself in a lifetime? What if God is Real? Is there a artifact of Roman Gods using Dice? Is there another element in our universe? Could Schizophrenia be cured in a couple of words? What if my book makes it to the year 6000? I noticed that questions could lead ones mind to understanding. A question may be equally as powerful as a cure. When you think BIG does mean in size and dimensions? When you think small does that mean unleashing your inner child? HOW To Think is also another book I’m writing. It breaks down how one should think before moving on to a different way of thinking. Think BIG to me means sending air to space by connecting a tubular valve that stretches from Planet Earth to The Moon allowing Humans to live in space. Think small means minimizing the spread of germs by creating a hand sanitizer that lasts up to 24 hours with one single use. Think smaller than small means writing a book titled Goofball Ideas and think bigger than BIG means figuring out a way to augment someones height. A Goofball Idea would be to start a credit card company that allows consumers to purchase whatever they need with no limitations. If my customer manages to miss a payment no problem, I’ll just put a hold on that card until they’re ready and if they manage to disappear without paying me back, then I’ll just open an account under their name and use it to start a foreign line of credit. Chances are that person won’t come looking for me. What this person didn’t know is that they just signed over their life to me for a measly $60,000. By operating a credit company I could make $60 million dollars with someone’s social security number, by simply approving them for more than one line of credit, transferring funds on their behalf into private accounts that make me richer and close their accounts once I’m finished abusing their credit score. There is no way to calculate how much digital money there is. Cash on the other hand is calculated before and after. I’m not interested in cash nor wealth. I’m a little more interested in creating a cure.
I’m thinking $100 Million Dollars over night. I get tired of living by the rules manufactured by humans. The United States to me is total set up that makes you believe you’ll never have to work again. That complete success is attainable if you work hard enough for it. Forget that, society is moving way too fast technology creating hundreds of loopholes for people like me to take advantage of. If I ever managed to breach a domains system and make off with 100 Million Dollars I’m gone. Tell my family and friends that I died. The last person who will ever see me in America will be voices that constantly tell me what to do with my life. I’m never coming outside, I’m never ever under any circumstances having sex and most importantly I’m keeping who I do business with very limited. I hate people. This will overall be the meanest act of my life. In fact I’m going to create another goofball idea which adds 😴 . I’ve been thinking of new ways to retaliate against people and it starts with their credit history. Most people don’t even have a collection of their recent transaction history. Who would even know.
Tonight, I thought about another goofball idea. I want to open up coffee shops all over North America. I call it The Coffee Castle. My goal is to serve billions of customers great coffee and incredible service. It would probably take decades to get this project started.